Bullying

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Bullying can be defined as the use of force or coercion to abuse or intimidate junior students, fellow students or workers or anyone else in particular. The behaviour of bullying others can be habitual and involve an imbalance of social or physical power. Bullying can be in the form of verbal harassment or threat, physical assault or coercion and may be directed repeatedly towards particular victims, perhaps on grounds of class, race, religion, gender, sexuality, appearance, behaviour, or ability. If bullying is done by a group, it is called mobbing. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target and this target can be any fellow worker or student or a junior. The menace of bullying has generally been observed among children and teenagers, particularly the high school going teenagers. Aggressive behaviour may be bullying depending on what happened, how often it happens and who it happens to.

There are a lot of ways to define bullying. Yet another way of defining bullying can be that it is an unwanted, aggressive behaviour among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance among them. Bullying can either be done in a group or even one-on-one involving the target and the person bullying him. The behaviour is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumours, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose. Sometimes bullying is done just for the fun whereas at times bullying is aimed at something more than just making fun of the target person. Bullying in school and the workplace is also referred to as peer abuse. But bullying at school is more dominant than that at office or workplace. A bullying culture can develop in any context in which human beings interact with each other. This includes school, family, the workplace, team, home, and neighbourhoods.

History

The word "bully" was first used in the 1530s meaning sweetheart, love or brother. The meaning deteriorated through the 17th century through "fine fellow", "blusterer", to "harasser of the weak". This may have been as a connecting sense between "lover" and "ruffian”, which was one sense of "bully" though not specifically attested until 1706. The verb "to bully" is first attested in 1710. Though bullying as in general was not really a menace at that time. Bullying may include threatening, abusing someone verbally or physically or spreading rumours but only high-level forms of violence such as assault and murder usually received most media attention and the word bullying started becoming a menace in Western countries at the beginning of 19th century. The lower-level forms of violence such as bullying have only in recent years started to be addressed by researchers, parents and guardians, and authority figures.

 It is only in past few years that the problem of bullying has been recognized in our country and recorded as a separate and distinct offence, but there have been well-documented cases that have been recorded over the centuries. During past few years, there has been a considerable rise in the cases of bullying and ragging in our country also, which can be attributed to the fact of rapidly growing modernization in our country and present generation is moving away from the rich culture that our country has always been proud of.

Bullying a Big Problem

The menace of bullying has been at a rise in the past few years around the world. Every day, thousands of teens around the world wake up afraid to go to school with the fear of being bullied at school by their classmates or seniors. Bullying is a big problem that is affecting millions of students all over the world, and it has left everyone worried, not just the kids on its receiving end even parents are also worried. Yet because parents, teachers, and other adults don't always see it, they may not understand how extreme bullying can get. Bullying is when a person referred as the target is picked on over and over again by an individual or group with more power, either in terms of physical strength or social standing and insulted, humiliated, threatened or abused either verbally or physically.

Two of the main reasons for bullying in school can be attributed to the appearance and social status of the individual. Bullies for most of the times pick on the people they think don't fit in, maybe because of how they look, how they act, for example, kids who are shy and withdrawn, their race or religion. While at times the bullying can also be directed because of some personal issues or scores with another individual. Sometimes there are issues with an individual over his performance in the classroom or maybe the reason is jealousy for bullying an individual and bullies always target weak individuals.

Some bullies attack their targets physically, which can mean anything from shoving or tripping to punching or hitting, or even sexual assault while at times they may use psychological control or verbal insults to put themselves in charge. Bullies always target a potentially weak person in the terms of physical strength and when the target is a strong individual then bullies always attack the target in the group.  People in popular groups or cliques often bully people they categorize as different by excluding them or gossiping about them which can be termed as psychological bullying. They may also taunt or tease their targets by the means of verbal bullying. Verbal bullying can also involve sending cruel texts, messages, or emails or posting insults about a person on social networking sites and these practices of abusing someone on the internet is known as cyberbullying.

Ways to Deal with Bullies

Bullying is when a person or group repeatedly tries to harm someone who is weaker or who they think is weaker. Sometimes it involves direct attacks such as hitting, name calling, teasing or taunting. Sometimes it is indirect, such as spreading rumours or trying to make others reject someone. It is seen that people often dismiss bullying among kids and consider it as a normal part of growing up, but at times bullying can get really harmful. A lot of times it can lead children and teenagers to feel tense and afraid and often leads to children avoiding their school. In severe cases, teens who are bullied may feel they need to take drastic measures or react violently while few others even consider suicide. For some, the effects of bullying last a lifetime. Those who are experiencing bullying need to handle the problem carefully. Few steps to deal with bullying are:

  • Hold the Anger: Everyone gets really upset with bullies and that's exactly the response he or she is trying to get. Bullies want to know they have control over your emotions. Do not let them influence you so much. If you're in a situation where you have to deal with a bully and you can't walk away then it is a smart thing to use humour against those bullies, it can throw the bully off guard. If you are constantly dealing with these bullies then it is advised that you work out your anger in another way, such as through exercise or writing it down make sure you tear up any letters or notes you write in anger and not actually pass them on to those people which can really mess up the things for you.
  • Don't get Physical: It is better advised that you should not get physical with these bullies around you. However you choose to deal with a bully, don't use physical force like kicking, hitting, or pushing which at times can get really rough. Getting physical with these people is a really bad idea as these people always indulge in these activities only when they are in a group. By getting physical with them you are not only showing your anger, you can never be sure what the bully will do in response. It is more likely that you’ll be hurt and get into trouble if you use violence against a bully. There are a lot of other ways to deal with such people. You can stand up for yourself in other ways, such as gaining control of the situation by walking away or by being assertive in your actions. Some adults believe that bullying is a part of growing up and that hitting back is the only way to tackle the problem. But that's not the case. Aggressive responses tend to lead to more violence and more bullying for the victims and at most of the time situation gets worse only.
  • Ignore the Bully and Walk Away: The best way to deal with such people is to just ignore them and walk away. It's definitely not a coward's response; in fact, it is a smart move.  Sometimes it can be harder than losing your temper. Walking away may piss them and they may feel ashamed when no one gives a response to their cheap jokes. Bullies thrive on the reaction they get, and if you walk away or ignore hurtful emails or instant messages, you're telling the bully that you just don't care which at times can be really insulting for them. Sooner or later the bully will probably get bored with trying to bother you and finally get fed up and stop bothering you. Walk tall and hold your head high. Using this type of body language sends a message that you're not vulnerable and messing with you can get them into a big problem.
  • Find Good Friends: Yet another way to deal with this problem is to have some good friends who stand by your side. This can be one step further to help ease feelings of hurt and isolation. Find one or two true friends and confide how the gossip has hurt your feelings. Set the record straight by telling your friends quietly and confidently what's true and not true about you. It feels really nice when a friend says that, "I know the rumour's not true and don’t pay attention to it,” having good friends around you also gives a strong message that you have people to stand by with you and no one dares to mess with you unnecessarily.

Conclusion
Bullying these days has become a big menace and a lot of students these days are afraid of going to school because of the fear of bullying. It is a high time that we should all stand up against this curse. A lot of parents and teachers have a view that bullying is the part of normal childhood, but these days this can get really troublesome for a few students. Teachers and school authorities should take serious note of such activities and if anyone found indulging in such activities should be punished strictly so as to act as a deterrent for the others. Individuals should also try to deal with bullies at their own level. One can try to talk to the bully. If you don't feel comfortable in a face-to-face discussion, leave a note in the bully's locker. Try to point out that his or her behaviour is serious and harmful and is hurting someone in one way or the other. This can work well in group situations, such as if you notice that a member of your group has started to pick on or shun another member. Another effective way to deal with bullying is to join your school's anti-bullying program or, if your school doesn't have one, to start one of your own with your friends and classmates.