A spoiled child is a child that shows behavioural problems from intemperance by his or her parents. If you are spoiling your child you will definitely know it. The relation between the parents and the child is the major thing that governs the nature or conduct of the child. If the relation between the parents and the child is not sweet enough then the child will not get the proper love and affection which he needs. This may turn him into a heartless or we say an emotionless person. On the other hand, if the relation between the child and the parent is extra sugary, it will definitely spoil him. This will make him feel that he is the most important person amongst the people around him. In this case, the child will feel superior to other children of his age group. He may also bully other children in this case. Therefore, it is not wrong to say that your extra love and affection for your child will turn him into a ‘spoiled brat’.
Spoiling your children can be harmful to them, both socially and developmentally. Since the spoiled child often does not know how to solve their own problems, they may lack the abilities necessary to fruitfully negotiate the hassles of adulthood. Spoiled children can become excessively reliant on their parents, which can cause them to have trouble making themselves happy as adults. When children are spoilt, they often do not have to learn responsible behaviours. They become more lazy and angry than other children of the same age group. They may also lack emotional maturity.
Symptoms of a Spoiled Child
Here are some points which will help you to know if your child is spoiled or not. The symptoms of a spoiled child are:
- The child throws temper tantrums at home and even at public places.
- The child always feels dissatisfied with whatever he has may it be toys, games, clothes or anything else.
- The child is very lazy. He does not help you with any work.
- The child controls your life. He is the one who decides what you are going to do now or where you will go or anything like that.
- The child is very undisciplined. He does not follow any rules and regulations.
- The child has a problem with everything. That means he never gets happy with anything.
- The child keeps on complaining every time.
- The child embarrasses you in public or makes you feel angry.
- The child is selfish. He does not like to shares his things.
- The child acts bossy and thinks you are like a servant.
- She ignores you.
- The child always complains about boredom.
- The child wants to be bribed. He wants something for every work you assign to him.
- The child is rude to other children and sometimes even with adults.
- The child keeps his room untidy and will not clean it even if you request him.
How a Child gets Spoiled?
Here are some mistakes which are often done by parents which turn their child into a spoiled brat:
- Giving up to your Child’s Tantrums: If your child throws tantrums, it shows his negative behaviour. If u give up on your child’s tantrums it will make him feel that he will get whatever he wants by just throwing a fit. Parents do not want to hurt their child's feelings or hear him cry. They may choose some temporary solution to prevent their child’s cry which, in the long run, grounds more crying. This fills the child’s mind with wrong moral values which will prove to be harmful when he will face the real world as an adult.
- Ignoring your Child’s Irresponsibility: If your child does the mistake and blames it on someone else, do not ignore it. This is an indication of your child’s irresponsible and unaccountable behaviour. This may also make him the unwanted person in his peer group as no one wants a friend who will blame them for their mistakes. The child will not be able to fulfil his responsibilities as an adult in the future.
- Lack of Praise: Everyone loves to be praised so why not a little kid? If you will praise your child, it will make him feel that whatever he did was right and he may repeat it in future. A few words of praise will assure him that he is not on the wrong track and it will encourage him to do the right things. On the other hand, when a child is not praised he may sometimes feel discouraged. In that case, the child will never get to know where he was correct.
- Making your Child the Center of your World: Making your child’s requests and demands the top priority in every situation teaches him that the world revolves around him. This could prevent her from learning to consider other people’s necessities and wishes. Some parents are too lenient with their child because they confuse the child's needs with his wishes. Everyone loves their children. But your extra love makes them self-centered. Giving your child attention is good but giving them extra attention at the wrong time or giving the immediate attention may be harmful to them.
- Not Teaching your Child Good Behavior: If you ignore your child’s rude or arrogant behaviour, in a way it indicates to him that his behaviour is right. You have to give him guidelines for a good conduct. If you fail to teach him this, he will become an uncivilized kid.
- Acting like a Spoiled Child yourself: There is a proverb- “They do what you do, not what you say.” Most of the times, children learn from their parent’s actions. If you only complain about everything around you, or be rude to others, or get angry on little thing, your child will repeat the same things. He will learn what he sees. To change your child’s behaviour you have to first change yourself.
How can a Spoiled Child be Reformed/ Improved?
If your child is spoiled, do not worry, it can be corrected. Correcting your spoiled child can be a bit difficult but it is not important. Here are some ways with the help of which you can correct your child’s behaviour.
- Give him Responsibilities: Give your child some responsibilities, or in other words, give him a chance to earn what he wants. In this way, he will take more care of his toys and gadgets and will see to it that they do not break easily or get lost. In this way, he will become more responsible and he will also learn the value of several things in life.
- Set Rules and Limits: If you set rules and regulations for your child, it will make him more disciplined. Setting a limit to the number of toys, games or picnics or anything like this will teach your child to stay happy and contented.
- Do not Let them Control your Life: Always putting your child first, above yourself and your marriage, indicates to your child that the world revolves around him. A child's needs for love, food, clothing, safety, and security obviously come first. However, your needs are important too. Children need some quality time with their parents every day. But spending every free moment of your evenings and weekends with your child is not good for your child or for you. Your child needs to learn to accept separations from his parents. If he isn't taught to respect your rights, he may not learn to respect the rights of other adults. Plan some time for yourself. Teach your child to be independent and this is the best way to teach this.
- Do not allow Tantrums: children throw temper tantrums to get your attention, to get you to change your mind, and to get their own way. Crying is used to change your no to a yes. Let your child know that you recognize he's angry, but that his behaviour is not acceptable. Do not give up against his tantrum. Some parents believe that the best way to prevent a tantrum is to throw one themselves. This is incorrect. This will teach your child a wrong lesson.
- Do not Overpraise your Child: Praise your child for his good behaviour. Encourage him to try new things and work on challenging tasks. Giving your child constant attention can make him praise-dependent and demanding. Avoid the tendency to overpraise your child's normal development.
- Learn to Say No: A child cannot get everything he wants. You have to reject some of his useless wants. Explain to them why they cannot have something. Explain to him that you cannot afford to pay for that toy or game or whatever he wants, or that it is not meant for his age. If you tell your child that he cannot have something, then you need to really mean it and not change your mind.
- Do not Overlook Discipline: If you are a working parent or you get to spend less time with your child that time should be enjoyable for both of you. But do not let the enjoyment take the form of something else. Make sure that that your child does not start to misbehave at that time. Do not let him create indiscipline at that time.
- Show him a Little Anger: Too much love will definitely spoil your child. If his behaviour annoys or embarrasses you, get angry with him and be rude. This will definitely make him feel that he is wrong. But after some time show him some love and explain to him his fault.
- Make a Time-table: Make your child follow a timetable. Set a routine for studying, playing, watching televisions etc. Create a fixed time for meals every day. This will make the child more disciplined and they will also get to know the importance of time.
- Make him Wait: Making a child wait does a not mean making him wait for lunch or dinner. If your child asks for something like a toy or a new dress, make him wait for that. This will teach him to be patient.
No child is spoiled from birth or there are no spoiled genes in a child. It’s just the wrong parenting or the wrong things seen by him which spoils him. Correcting a spoiled child is not easy enough. It will take a lot of time to achieve this. The child’s mind and his emotions have to be reshaped which is not at all an easy task. So, you have to be patient while handling him. Everything takes time, so will this.
