How to choose good friends?

A friend in need is a friend indeed. We all came across this proverb many times in our lives, but never really thought about some deep meaning of the term friendship. It is really difficult to confine the friendship in one line or the two. Friendship can be defined as a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people in a mutual relationship with each other known as friendship. God does not create friends; instead, we acquire them over the period of time. While some friends can be from our school, college or workplace we also tend to make best friends out of our siblings, parents or relatives.

 Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than an acquaintanceship. Friends tend to have many qualities in common with one another and generally belong to the same age group. Most of the friends share common aptitudes and interest, likes, and dislikes. Friendship has been studied in academic fields such as sociology, social psychology, anthropology, and philosophy. On the basis of various research works, various academic theories of friendship have been proposed which include social exchange theory, equity theory, relational dialectics, and attachment styles.

There are many forms of friendship, which may vary from place to place and age to age. Every type of friendship is unique in itself and possess certain characteristics like affection, sympathy, respect, honesty, helping  spirit, altruism, mutual understanding and compassion, enjoyment of each other's company, trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one's feelings, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend. While there is no practical limit on what types of people can form a friendship, friends tend to share common backgrounds, occupations, or interests and have similar demographics.

Types of Friends

We have many friends from different sphere of our lives. We tend to create new friends in every social place that where we go. While some of the friendship lasts for month or weeks, the friendship may last for years. Some of the childhood friends go on and remain friend’s whole life while some college friends or some short time friends that we make during our travelling our in queue won’t be friends for much longer. In our day to day life, we come across many individuals, who become friends for a purpose. There are also some friends who are casual friends, whom we meet on our travels in buses and the trains. They are friends with whom we exchange many views during our journey. But at the end of the journey, each goes his own way and in most cases, the casual friendship is also gone.

We also tend to have many inactive friends that we have strong feelings with, but do not meet very often because of some problem that may be distance or maybe because of busy schedules. A friend is something that every person needs in his life and must appreciate a true friend if we have one. Though there can be many types of friends we may broadly classify friends into two types:

1. Good friends
2. Bad friends

Good friends are like one soul, living in two bodies and have a heart to heart connection. They are really attached to one another. A real friend is one who comes to you when all others have left. A true friend never flatters you, rather at times frown upon you but that is all for your goodwill. A friend’s frown is said to be better than a foe’s praise. While good friends are those who always encourage us towards some good things in life, on the other hands sometimes we may fell into a bad company who always forces us towards bad activities, which may include bad habits like smoking, drinking or sometimes we may even drive us towards drugs. It is better to be always cautious while selecting our friends for our own goodwill. Good friends are there to always support us with the decision that is helpful for making our good future and is constant motivators for us towards the better. On the other hand, a bad company always guide us towards the things that may be enjoyable for a while but more often very harmful for us in our future and always leads to downfall. While good friends always motivate and help towards betterment on the other hand bad company always leads to negativities in life. Hence it is better to be friends with those who care for you and are always there to help you with your developmental process.

Qualities of Good Friend

A good friend is always there for you no matter what. They don't lie to you no matter what. They also keep their promises. They also don't stab you in the back. True friends never walk away during difficult times, it’s not important whether he is miles apart from you, as a true friend will always have you in his heart forever. So distance should really not matter. A good friend is one who will always believe in you even if you yourself no longer believe in you, and will always motivate to bring out the best in you. A true friend is like your other self and has a heart to heart connection, even if you don’t speak he understands you well. He will be your best and worst critic as he will always tell you the truth about you, though he knows it will sometimes hurt you. A true friend will not need any explanation as he will always understand. There are many such qualities of a good friend that makes him one most important part of your life. These qualities are:

• A good friend is someone who is willing to share his time with you.
• He will always bring out the best in you.
• He will be your best and worst critic as he will always tell you the truth.
• A good friend is funny, unique, interesting and understanding.
• A good friend is attentive and adaptable.
• If you are going through a hard time and shout at your friend, still goes with you and gives you company till you are finally okay.
• Always motivate you to be better.
• Always keep your secrets.
• He is honest, a good listener and respects you, your decision, choices and most importantly your family.
• You don’t have to work for their affection.
• A good friend accepts you for who you are.

How to Choose a Good Friend?

Friends are a gift of life; it is wonderful to have friends that last for a lifetime. Many times, due to different circumstances, friendships do not last long. It is the time to make some new friends, that you can share good times with, share some common interests and whom you can trust to be loyal and honest, as well as sincere. Picking up the right friends is not easy, and it takes a lot of searching and some sincere effort to find a true person having common interest and affection for you. Friendship building is an art that one learns with the time. To have a good friend is a wonderful thing to have in your life; a good friend will know everything about you and would never intend to use it against you. They will always want the best for you. It doesn’t really matter how old or young you are, when you are around your best friend there will be an excitement inside of you and happiness and to find such a friend takes time and sincere effort and you also need to show same affection for your friend to make it a mutual relation. Sometimes you may have to filter through friends to find that right person. There may be few facts to keep in mind while selecting a good friend:

• Choose a Friend Who Stands By You in the Tough Times: Finding a friend is not a difficult thing, it's very easy for us to be good friends with the fun times. There are all kinds of laughter and joyful moments during happy times and those times make relationships easy. But things really turn around when you encounter some difficult situations. A good friend is one who stays with you even during your tough times. But who are the people who stand by when times turn tough? These are the kind of friends one really cherishes, and finding such friends is the thing that one should look for. It's much harder to stand by someone that's having a tough time, so choosing a friend that is strong enough to be a strong shoulder to cry on or hold your hand when it's needed is a wise choice. It is not that you only expect this thing from others; you should also have the same feeling for your friend and ready to be part of his tough times, which makes it a mutual relation.
• Good Company: You tend to have different friends for different parts of your life. If you have moved into a new phase of life like new job, college or town then find people who can help you visualize what that future can look like. These should be the people who would be a good company to spend time with and also they are the ones who support you to adjust to the new environment.  Like it or not, you become similar to the friends you hang out with. Be it your workplace or college good company plays a positive role. Your associations have a lot to do with where you’re at in every area of your life. Your friends are going to influence your behaviour, so why not pick ones who will be a positive influence and cherish your life.
• Choose a Faithful Person: Faith or trust is the basis of every new relationship. If there is no trust it is very difficult for a relationship to last for a long time. Your faith is important to you, so why choose a friend who puts it down at every chance they get? If you don’t trust your friend you cannot share things with him that bothers you. Hence there is a sense of distrust among unfaithful people and also you also hesitate to tell them your secrets because of fear that they might leak it out at some point or the other.  So better option is to be faithful and find someone equally faithful.
• Must be Interesting with a Good Sense of Humor: You need a friend who makes a good companion and helps you spend some quality time. Friends need to laugh together on jokes, pranks and various other issues. We all like to spend good times in life, and most of the best times come from our own odd character traits and we tend to spend most of our quality time with our best buddies only. It is important to choose a friend who gets those quirks and can laugh with you rather than at you. After all, if you choose a friend who gets your odd sense of humour, it's likely they have one, too. It is best to look for someone who will laugh with you at a look or a glance. Those people will be some of your best friends and always remind you of the fact that laughter is best for health. They don't put you down for the things that make you different rather they embrace them!
• Should Share the Common Interests: A friend is a person with whom you intend to spend most of your quality time and should share the same interest. You expect to hang out with your good friend and also the most part of your life out of your home, so it is very important that you have shared interest so that both enjoy each other’s company. While it’s a fact that friendship is full of compromise, it really helps if you choose friends who share a lot of your interests with you. It gives you things to talk about or share. It makes deciding on stuff to do easier. It is not necessary that you have to choose a friend who likes every single little thing you do, but you should have some shared interests in order to get along well.

Conclusion
Choosing your friends wisely is an important part of life and will benefit you in the long run. True friends like you in all your stages of life and stand firm with you at all times. They will be there when you are happy or sad. Finding a friend that has qualities that you possess is an added advantage. If you find a friend that is always negative, then it is best you let that friend just be casual. Find a friend whether it be male or female that you can confide in and you can trust. While there can be people who will backstab you, so it is better to be aware of such personalities. You should find such a friend that when the person is around you need to feel happy inside and have a safe calm feeling. If you are lucky enough to find a best friend then you are truly blessed.